Confessions of a MarySue
by ThatGreenElephant
Summary: A typical Mary-Sue lives in Tulsa. Was going to be a drama, but will now be a parody. Still rated T for possible language.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N) If I'm S.E. Hinton, then Matt Dillon is ugly. Since neither of the above are true, sit, read, and review.**

Hey guys! I don't expect y'all to know who I am. But guess what!? You're gonna find out!

My name is PixiStick Bella Cassandra Curtis. I'm 15 years old. My birthday is actually September 11th. My parents died in a car wreck a few months ago. It was really sad, but I'm over it. I have to stay strong for my gang. Because that's just the type of person I am.

Oh yeah! I never told you about my gang, yet, did I? Well, we're not really a _gang, _we're a group of best friends who stick together, as my brother Ponyboy says. Ponyboy. That kid has a way with words let me tell ya.

I have three brothers. My oldest brother is Darrel Curtis Jr. But we call him Darry. He's 20 years old, and works like a dog. He's kinda handsome, he looks just like Dad. We're really close, just like Sodapop and Ponyboy are close.

That brings me to my middle brother, Sodapop Patrick Curtis. I ain't kidding! That's his real name! It even says so on his birth certificate! He's only sixteen. Anyway, Soda sure is handsome. He has the tuffest hair in town, and all the looks. He can get any girl he wants. But his luck with girls hasn't been all that great lately. There was this one girl, Sandy, but I really don't want to talk about her. But for you, my adoring fans, of course I'll tell. Sandy- or Sandra Dawn Michaels, that's her full name. She had curly blonde hair, and pretty china blue eyes. She was pretty, all right, but she wasn't as beautiful as moi! I mean, as soon as Sodapop wanted to marry her…boom! She goes behind my brother's back, and sleeps with another guy! That little slut gets herself pregnant by another guy! There's no way she is better OR prettier than me. I say, if you have sex before your married, you are lower than dirt. Some people have argued with me that if you get raped, it's not your fault, right? Wrong. In my eyes, if a girl gets raped, she put herself in that situation, so I feel absolutely no sympathy for her. But that's not the point. Sandy really hurt Sodapop, and Sodapop doesn't deserve that.

And then there's Ponyboy. My little brother. Well, actually, he's not little anymore, but he's still my younger brother, ain't he? Pony's 14 years old and now currently a blonde. See, he got in this whole mess with some other members of our gang and even some Socs. He's really smart, even smarter than Darry. But not as smart as me! Nobody is as smart as me! But still, Pone's pretty smart. He got put up a year in school. Then again, I got put up _two_ years in school, but whatever.

Anyway, our gang is totally awesome. First, there's Steve Randle. He's seventeen, and he's been Sodapop's best friend since they were like six. I don't like Steve, though. He hates Ponyboy for some reason. He and I get along okay, I guess. I seem to have that affect on everybody.

Then there's Two-Bit Matthews. His real name is Keith, but everybody calls him Two-Bit. I made that name up when I was 12 years old. Because he never shuts up! He always has to have his two bits in a conversation. He's really funny, and I love him to death. Not like the like _like _way, but ya know, I've known him since we were little kids, and I love him to death. As a brother.

Of course, no _one_ can ever forget Dallas Winston, once you meet that boy. He was seventeen, blonde, and extremely dangerous. Bad news. He wasn't a greaser like the rest of us; he was a straight up hood. I have no idea why he chose us, our gang, instead of Tim Shepard's outfit. I admit, I thought Dally was the coolest cat in town, and I respected his "hoodish" ways. Johnny seemed to look up to him, anyway.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Johnnycake. Ponyboy once described Johnny Cade as "a dark puppy that had been kicked too many times, lost in a crowd of people." And Pony was dead-on. Johnny was one of, if not _the_ shyest boy I've ever met. His parents used beat him, and he was a nervous wreck. Johnny was jumpy anyways, cause he got jumped by a couple of Soc's a few months back. I'm the only one in the gang that he was himself around. I mean, Johnny and Pony were buddies and all, and Johnny practically worshiped the ground Dallas walked on. But Johnny really opened up around me. Then again, everyone opens up around me!

Oh yeah, then there's those damn Soc's! The rich kids. The cool kids on the other side of Tulsa. Ya know, "the jet set" as Soda called them a few times. They jump us greasers all the time, and just for the fun of it, too! I hate them. Even more than I hate Sandy. Because, well, Pony and Johnny were at the park late one night, and some Soc's caught up with them. The same exact Socs that jumped Johnny in the vacant lot forever ago. Johnny stabbed the ringleader Soc, Bob, and killed him. Pony and Johnny hopped on a train to a nearby town, and hid out in an abandoned church. Well, after about a week of hiding out, the church burnt down to the ground. Dally had gone to visit Johnny and Ponyboy in the church, and they all jumped in to save some little kids from burning. Pony emerged unharmed, while Dally only had injured his arm a little bit, he was fine. It was Johnnycake that we were all worried about. He was burned very badly all over his back, and if he lived- and there was a slim chance that Johnnycake was going to make it- he would never walk again.

Well, at sixteen years old, Johnny Cade passed away. Pony, Dallas, and I were right there next to the hospital bed when he died. The last words Johnny ever spoke were to Ponyboy and I. He said "Stay gold, Pony and PixiStick. Stay Gold…." Dally basically lost it, and went and robbed a store. He called our house- Pony and I had walked home by then- and told Darry and all of us to meet him at the park. I was dead tired, and trying not to sob my heart out. Cause ya know, greasers don't cry. So, we all run to the park, and I see our Dally, the indestructible Dallas Winston, shot down by the police. I vaguely remember running towards Dally, screaming and crying, greaser or not. I knelt down beside Dally, grabbed his hand, and looked him straight in the eye. "I love you, Dallas Winston. I always have, and I always will." I don't know exactly why I said that right then and there, but I think it was because I _did_ love Dally. He would have died without knowing exactly how I loved him all my life. And in turn, Dallas would have died without telling me how he loved me all his life.

Dally moved a lock of hair from my eyes, and stared into my eyes. I could stare into his blue, ice cold eyes forever, and it would be enough. Dallas, with his final breath, grabbed my head, pulled me towards him, and kissed me softly and sweetly. "Pixi…."

And then he died, right there in my arms.

I felt Sodapop wrap his arms around me, and everything went black.

And two months later, I'm getting over it. Not it… Dally. I was moving on with my life without him and Johnny by my side. My long, blonde curly hair that lands gracefully half-way down my back has gotten its "spring" back. My big, beautiful, blue eyes are once again shining with happiness. And my family and friends held me through it all, and now, the least I can do is hold them up when they needed me. I'm PixiStick Bella Cassandra Curtis, and this is the first chapter of my life story.

**(A/N) Are your eyes bleeding yet? They should be. PixiStick, at this point in time, is meant to be your typical Mary-Sue. But no matter, my dear little Sue friend is in for a rude awaking….**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N) I am SO sorry that I have not updated in ages and ages. I'm slowly getting used to being in high school, and balancing grades and all that. Sorry to pull out the "I'm busy" excuse, but it's sadly true. I'm also writing a co-authored fic, "Picking Up the Pieces" with writersblock242. Out pen name is AllYouNeedIsLove67, so defiantly check up on that. It's a Sandy/Soc romance…*coughs***

**Anyway, this is the part where I thank everyone for adding this to their favorites, their story alerts, so on. For one chapter, I think I didn't do too bad for myself.**

** Kewl and :D---Thank you for commenting first. I will break her, and then some.**

** Mo---Thanks. It wasn't even supposed to be a parody, it just happened to be funny lol.**

** Simba11---No! Don't explode! I need you to keep commenting and reading! **

** Riverchild---Believe me, it's not the BEST parody ever. And in a nutshell, that's Pixi. Inserting herself, the hair, the works…And yes, the "ya's" were all intentional. **

** Twilight Temptress---*bows* Thanks for reviewing!**

** Emily Cartman--- Um…thank you for calling it nasty. =D**

**KeithUrbanFanatic---*pulls hands off of Pixi* NO! I wanna hurt her! You can't do it yet!**

** Xxmuchluvinxx---Pixi IS the original airhead. Dismissive, dumb-ass, airhead. Boy, when she sees what I have planned for her…*insert evil laugh***

** DISCLAMER: I don't own the Outsiders. Just Pixi. So that means I can do whatever the hell I want to her!**

I walked into the DX about a week after Dally and Johnny died. It was after school had let out for the day, and I was mad as hell. Cherry Valance, Sylvia- Dally's ex, and Angela Shepard had come up to me right before 7th period at my locker, saying how it was my fault that Dallas, their love, had died. I rolled my eyes.

"Cherry, please. You're a Soc; Dally could have never loved you without having your parents hate him cause he was a dumb hood. Y'all woulda had to pull a Romeo and Juliet and die in each other's arms." Cherry looked like she was gonna start crying any second. But I didn't want to stop.

"And anyway, you were dating the enemy. And Dally hated you for it. If you had just gone with Bob before you hit on my brother and Johnny Cade, then Johnny wouldn't have stabbed Bob, and Johnny wouldn't have died in that fire, and Dally wouldn't have killed himself. So actually, this is _your _fault."

Cherry burst into tears and ran down the hallway, sobbing.

Sylvia reached out a hand, grabbed my face, and pulled it towards me. "Listen here, you little bitch." She hissed at me. "Cherry Valance is just some little Socy gold-digger. But in case you didn't notice, I was Dallas Winston's girl. Not some Soc, not the Shepard broad," she pointed at Angela, who shot her a death look. "And he sure as hell wasn't dating no fuckin' Curtis sister."

Well, y'all can believe that I don't take that bullshit from some chick whose skin wasn't as delicate as mine, whose hair wasn't as delicate as mine, whose hair wasn't as silky smooth as mine was, and whose eyes as strikingly beautiful as mine were…

But anyway, I was mad as hell, so I simply pulled my arm back, made a fist, and punched Sylvia square in the face. I heard something "pop", and Sylvia screamed, her hands immediately flew to face. I had broken her nose. And damn proud of it.

"Oh my God!" Angela and Sylvia both let out a blood-curdling scream at the same time. Sylvia had tears in her eyes, and took off in the same direction as Cherry.

Angel just stood there; jaw slacked, honestly not knowing what to do. I mean, I know it must be hard to be in presence. Ya know, with me being so beautiful, sweet, gentle, skinny, and shy…but still managing to be street-wise, funny, smart, carry a switch-blade and not afraid to fight!

Angela and I just stood there, staring each other down for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only 30 seconds because I'm just clichéd like that. I growled at her, and she ran away, screaming like bloody hell. I just laughed. Who needs her anyway?

"Miss Curtis," Mr. Bachman droned on. "Do you, or do you _not_ have an answer!?"

My head shot up. "Wha…"

Well, if you had been there, you _totally_ would've understood why I had fallen asleep. Mr. Bachman had to be the most boring Health class in all of Oklahoma. All he did was lecture Mondays and Tuesdays, fill-in worksheets Wednesdays and Thursdays, and take the quiz Friday. I mean, the guy had about as much as personality as my sock…ok, maybe not _my_ sock, cause all _my_ socks are neon green, pink, and sometimes orange. Some are like, these little ankle socks, and some are these knee-high ones. With my short shorts and $50 hand-crafted shirt that Darry always yells at me for, I look _hot_.

Anyway, I had finally had enough of this guy. "I'm sorry, Mr. Kling. Can you please repeat the question?" I asked through clenched teeth.

Mr. Kling hit my desk with his yardstick or ruler or whatever. "I asked…'What is the most efficient way not to get pregnant?"

I twirled a piece of hair around my finger. "Uh…condoms?" The rest of the class snickered into their fist, or clamped a hand over their mouths, eyes wide with shock. Mr. Kling looked as if he had a good mind to hit me over the head with his yardstick or ruler or whatever.

"How dare you say such a word in my classroom!" He snarled.

"And anyway, _condoms_," Mr. Kling said with disgust, "Don't do a thing. The only way not to get pregnant is to what, people?" He had turned towards my classmates, now talking to the whole class.

"Abstence." They all chimed, groaning and rolling their eyes.

"Correct. Now, if you'll all turn the page to 394, you can see-"

"Mr. Kling! Mr. Kling!" Megan Glynn waved her hand around in the air. Damn know-it-all.

"Yes, Megan?" Mr. Kling asked, eager to get back to his rant…er, lesson.

"The textbook…the words just changed. PixiStick's _right_!" The poor girl looked like she was going to cry. I stood up and grabbed the textbook from her hands.

"Contrary to popular belief, recent studies show that using condoms while having intercourse is 110% effective, while abstence is only 100% effective." Funny, that's not what it said ten minutes ago…

"HOLY SHIZ!" Connor Cullen pointed at me. "SHE'S GOT SUE POWERS!"

"Say something else, O Great One!" The whole class, including Mr. Kling, all got down on their knees and bowed down to me.

Of course,


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N)- It's been a while, hasn't it? I'll skip right to it: Thanks for the reviews, I don't own the Outsiders, "Baby" or Justin Bieber (nor do I own the Beatles. I forgot to put a disclaimer in my latest one-shot "Happiness is a Warm Gun". I don't own any of it. And if I owned Justin Bieber, you would never here his voice, believe me), here's PixiStick Curtis' third chapter. In addition, this "rape" scene is not meant to be taken seriously. Rape is a serious subject, and not meant to be taken lightly like it's so often portrayed in fanfiction. This is a parody, nothing more, and this is not to depict at actual situation. The same goes for the "disability" comment.**

**Chapter Three**

It was a beautiful day outside- almost as beautiful as me- and I had just gotten out of another boring day of school. Three guys had told me loved me, and I had to tell them no thank you, yes, I'm still in love with Dallas, yes, I do look beautiful, don't I?

Steve Randle, Soda's friend, asked me out once. He was okay-looking, I guess, but I turned him down. (Of course. He was always mean to poor Ponyboy, which obviously meant that he was a huge asshole. I could make him fall in love with me and pretend to like him, of course, but that was way too much work) Steve said he didn't care, that there was a real cute girl in his homeroom, Evie, and he would ask her out. I didn't care. I saw Steve pick her up from school a few days later, and she was okay-looking, but instead of my beautiful, long, black-velvet curly but sometimes straight from my straighter hair, Evie had short _brown _hair. Her eyes, too, looked like mud compared to mine. I guess I can't have _all_ the guys in Tulsa. They couldn't reproduce in this town if I did.

I remember Two-Bit tried to pick me up once. I was at Buck's with my girls Billie Jean, Miley, Selena, Demi, Rosaline and Alice when Two-Bit came over and put his arm around me. I had just had to reject Mick Jagger, 'cause he had heard my "Tik Tok" ringtone go off, and all that jazz. But I guess these boys would never learn- I would have to reject Two-Bit just like I did every other guy. So I did. I told him that we couldn't be together. I didn't like to drink all the time like he did, I wasn't a blonde, and I was, after all, "Dally's girl." Sure, there was Sylvia, but she was the Queen of the Slut world. _I_ was his _real _love.

Back to that spring day. I was walking home from school, and walked in front of the DX where Soda and Steve worked. They were always there, or on our couch eating chocolate cake. So I go in to say hi, when I see a fire-engine red Mustang pull up next to me. When the windows rolled down, I saw five Soc's in the car. One of them even wolf-whistled at me, but I couldn't see his face.

"Hey, Shawty!" he called, but I just turned my iPod that was playing "Baby" by Justin Bieber up louder, and kept walking, but I could still hear what they were saying.

"Isn't _she_ a beauty…?" "Hey, cutie, why don't you come over here…?" The usual. I got this type of treatment all the time. Most people don't know this, but I have a disability. I'm just so beautiful, that guys constantly want to have sex with me. It's just so hard being me sometimes.

So, after a while, I turned to the head Soc, and said,"Why don't you go get drunk and beat some greasers up or something?"

"Getting' fresh, eh?" The Soc said to me. "We'll see about that, girlie." Then, the other four Soc's got out of the car, and pinned me to the ground. I kicked and screamed and fought like hell, but no one else heard me. Which, now that I think about it, is really weird, because there was a bunch of people on the street…Anyway, back to me.

No one came to help me, and I could've fought them off, but I didn't have my switchblade on me. I forgot it at home when me and Darry were hollerin' at each other again. My head was in the clouds again, and I just put it on the table, and forgot it was there.

All of the sudden I felt a sharp pain across my chin. Knife cut. They used a blade on me. The pain was unbearable, and I felt myself slipping away…everything was getting darker…"Come on, she's knocked out. Just rape her, she'll never know…" When I heard the word "rape," I picked my head up to start yelling again, but one of the Soc's punched me in the head. I lay back down. It was over. The Soc's had won, and I would die at their hands, just like Johnny and Dally. I closed my eyes and thought to myself, "I just hope my hair looks good when they bury me…"

"Pixi! PixiStick, baby, can you hear me?" I tried opening my eyes, but ended up being to weak, and just coughed instead.

But whoever was talking to me, they kept at it, slapping my face lightly and saying, "C'mon, girlie, wake up." Eventually I did open my eyes- my complexion would look terrible if whoever it was kept slapping me- but I didn't exactly "wake up." I was still real groggy, and when I opened my eyes, the person who was talking to me sounded like Sodapop, but looked like…

"Mom?" I croaked.

"Mom?" Soda/Mom echoed. "Oh God, she's delusional. Darry! Darry!" I tried turning to see where Darry was, but somebody else was holding me down. Dad. He was holding my head in place, and looked like he was trying real, real hard not to cry.

"Pone," Dad snapped, sounding more like Darry than himself. "Call 911."

Faces started blurring together. Pony's face swam into view, but every time he opened his mouth, Johnny's voice came out. I don't remember seeing Two-Bit, but he was there; the gang always traveled together.

But the strangest thing was, when I looked at Steve- or who I thought was Steve, I saw Dally. _My _Dally. I reached out my hand, and stroked Dally's face. Dally looked slightly confused but smiled. For a split second, Dally disappeared and Steve took his place, but Dally came back like he always did.

"Dallas…" I murmured, stroking his face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a giant tank shaking violently. My eyes widened-I knew what was going to happen next. It was going to explode.

"Dally! I screamed. And then…

Blackness. Almost as beautifully black as my hair…


	4. Chapter 4

**PixiStick Curtis Chapter 4**

** (A/N)- I don't own the Outsiders and reviews equal love. (Love the reviews, please keep them coming)**

When I opened my eyes, I found that I was completely alone. (Or so I thought) As I looked around, I also figured out that I had no fucking clue where I was. I moved to lay on my side when I realized I was back home on the magical couch. I also realized that I wasn't alone at all- instead, seven teenage boys were staring down at me.

I jumped back and stared at the boys in front of me. Once I realized who they were, I threw my arms around the nearest person I could reach; someone who shouldn't have been there at all.

"J-J-Johnny!" I sobbed, burying my head in his shoulder. Johnny Cade, my best friend, who had died only a few weeks ago, was alive. Unless…

Unless we were _all_ dead.

I mean, it was possible. After that explosion at the DX, I ended up here, on the magical Curtis couch that nursed needy greasers, new girls in town, and occasionally, lost puppies, back to health. Johnny and Dally were already dead, so it'd figure they would be there. But if the rest of the gang died with me, and they were here too…where were Mom and Dad?

I didn't have time to figure it out, though, because Johnny looked at me funny, and squeaked out, "…Hiya…?"

"You don't remember me, Johnnycake?" I let go of Johnny and looked at him.

He smiled. "I dunno how you know my name, but boy, you're real cute."

"Um…thank you?" I offered, confused.

"Move it, Johnnycake," Steve shoved Johnny to the side. "You ain't supposed to talk to no one, especially not a girl as pretty as this one." Steve gave me a cocky smile. "Hey, I'm Steve Randle, and I'm your future boyfriend."

I forced a laugh. "Good one, Steve, but Two-Bit's supposed to be the funny one." I looked at Two-Bit. "Right?"

"You know it, girl!" Two-Bit whooped, putting his arm around me. "So what's your pretty little name?"

"You…you really don't remember my name, Two-Bit?" My voice was breaking. If this was a joke, it wasn't funny.

"Now how could we not remember a face like yours?" Sodapop came up behind me and put his arms around my waist like he used to do to Sandy. I blushed- he _was _my brother, after all- but I didn't move his hands.

Darry came and picked Soda off the ground, moving him out of the way with those huge muscles of his. "Stop hogging the only girl here, Soda." Darry the grunted, then kissed my hand like a gentleman. "How are you, dear?" He asked me. I didn't say anything, just nodded my head, going along with whatever they were trying to pull.

Even Ponyboy went along with it! After Darry kissed my hand, I heard a loud cough from behind me, and when I turned around, I was face-to-beautiful face with Pony. He shook my hand and nodded. "Ponyboy Curtis. Pleased to meet you."

I smiled, deciding to play along with this little game. "Hey there, Ponyboy…" I may have been talking to Ponyboy, but my eyes were locked on Dally, hoping he would notice me…

"Hey there, Princess," Dally smiled at me, and I smiled back. I tucked a piece of hair around my ear…

_My hair was blonde._

It shouldn't have been blonde and shinning like the Sun- it was always black as night. My rainbow eyes, too, were gone, and I had china blue eyes instead. I still looked just as beautiful, but that was probably why none of the boys recognized me. Even so, what were Johnny and Dally doing here?

Sodapop must've noticed my confusion, because he asked me, "So do you remember what happened to you at the DX?"

"What does that matter?" Darry snapped. "I want to know if she remembers her own name." All seven heads turned towards me.

"So what's your name, then?" Ponyboy asked.

"Pixi! It's PixiStick…" I was about to completely bitch them out for not remembering me, when Dally took a step forward.

Dally looked disgusted. "Wait a minute…_PixiStick_? It's gotta be a fake name. I just don't see it."

My mouth dropped open. "Don't see what!"

"Old Dally's right!" Two-Bit studied me closely. "You're not much of a PixiStick. You look more like a Jo'Nai to me."

"Eh, I'm thinking Honeypie." Steve commented.

"What about Fantasia?" Johnny offered.

Before I could say anything, Dally said officially, "Then it's settled. You're Honeypie Fantasia Jo'Nai Swam."

Darry leaned towards me. "The 'Swan' part is from Twilight, in case you didn't know."

I half-nodded. "Okay…" Then I thought of something. "Darry?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you still sitting on the couch?" I raised an eyebrow, a trick I picked up from Two-Bit.

Steve snorted. "Ain't it obvious? He ain't been off that chair in months."

My angelic eyes widened. "How come?"

Two-Bit howled with laughter. "'Cause that's all Darry knows how to do- sit in that chair while reading the paper while yelling at Ponyboy."

"It's true."

Darry put an arm around me and lowered me so I was sitting on the armchair. "See? That's why I need her to be _my_ girlfriend, so she can give me a life outside of working."

"Aw hell Darry, you're asexual, you don't need a girl." Dally pulled me closer to him so we were chest-to-chest. He looked me in the eyes and said, "I need a girl to keep me on the path of good citizenship."

"Keep you there?" Sodapop snorted. "You were never there!" I then had two guys' arms around me. I was flattered, but not surprised. Guys fighting over me was a pretty common thing around here.

Dally glared at Soda. "What do you need her for, then?"

"Me? I need someone to help me get over Sandy," Soda finally shoved Dally off of me. "I'm heartbroken and need to find love again."

"What about me?" cried Ponyboy. "I'm romantic and need to find love after Cherry Valance!" I patted Pony's head. It was true, after all.

Two-Bit clapped Pony on the back. "Wow, and all this time, I was thinking that there was a little somethin' somethin' going on between you and Johnnycake, Ponyboy. But I guess it makes sense. You both need girls to turn you straight!"

Pony just blushed, but Johnny actually spoke up. "Aw, shut it, Two-Bit. Just 'cause she's a blonde don't mean you can have her. I need a nurturing mother figure in my life."

"She's a blonde who knows how to have fun! Of course I should get Honeypie to keep me in a steady relationship." Two-Bit was sitting on the magical couch and pulled me onto his lap.

But Steve had other ideas. He plopped down on the couch next to me and Two-Bit. He took my hand and said, "Evie's nothing special. I need a girl who's different and will make me a better person inside."

"No, I should have Honeypie!" Ponyboy came up and shoved Steve away from me. Steve stood up threatingly.

"The girl is _mine_." Steve announced not just to Pony, but to everyone in the room.

Johnny suddenly burst into tears. "But I love her!"

Soda put his arm around Johnny and said, "We know it, kid…" Soda thought for a moment, then added, "But Honey's still my girlfriend!"

"She's my girl!" Dally yelled back.

"In your dreams! Honeypie loves me!"

"You're wrong! She's my true love!"

On and on the fighting went until I finally screamed, "_Everybody shut up_!"

The room was completely silent. Breathing in and out heavily, I continued, "Look, I know I'm beautiful and all, but can't _I_ fall in love with the greaser of _my_ choice?"

I barely finished my sentence before Darry picked me up and threw me on the couch.

"You stay there while we argue over you." With that, all seven smexi greasers left and went out to the front porch. As the door shut, I yelled, "But…!"

"Shut up!" The door swung open and the gang all yelled at me. The door slammed shut, but reopened, and a chorus of apologizes and "I love yous" greeted me before the door shut gently once again.

I layed back on the couch, closed my eyes, and sighed. I had made up my mind- as long as they didn't remember me, there was no harm in a little flirting. I was, after all, only human.


	5. Chapter 5

"**Confessions of a Mary-Sue"-Chapter 6**

** (A/N)- I'm back from doing NaNo, and even though I lost, I'm excited to be writing fanfic again! So, here's the sixth installment of "Confessions of a Mary-Sue." **

"Ponyboy! Sodapop!" I stepped into the Curtis house two days after my day in the park with Johnny and called for my two favorite ex-brothers. I looked real cute that day- I was wearing a pink baby- doll shirt, a red Hollister hoodie over it, a brand new pair of white skinny jeans, tan Ugg boots, my make-up looking stunning, and my hair was now a gingery red- and I wanted Pony and Soda to see me and my fabulous new look. After all, they were cute boys, and I was a cute girl…maybe me and one of the Curtis brothers would make a cute couple. Maybe it was scandalous to flirt with your brother. But then again, they weren't my brothers anymore.

When I walked into the house that day, though, it was completely dark and silent- strange, considering seven teenage boys were always around here. No TV blaring, no radio blasting the Doors or some other band, no lights or anything turned on. Complete silence. I called "Hello!" into the darkness, and suddenly, the door behind me slammed shut loudly. I jumped, raced for the door, and found that it was locked.

"Hello there, Honeypie." A voice said from the darkness. I froze, not exactly scared- I never got scared, I was so above that-but uneasy.

"Who…who's there. Who are you?" Smart as I was, I didn't have a clue who was talking to me. When no one answered, I straightened my back and said, "I mean it, y'know. Show yourself right now."

For a moment, there was more silence. Then, I heard the voice say, "I know we don't know each other well, Honeypie, and not for very long, either. But I'm hopelessly in love with you."

"Who are you?" I asked again, reaching for my pocket where my switchblade was. "What the hell do you want?"

And to my surprise, out of the shadows came…Darry Curtis. 20-year-old, strong, scary-ass Darry Curtis.

My gorgeous mouth dropped open. "Darry? You? But…"

"But what?" Darry snapped, irritated. I noticed then that Darry wasn't standing- he was sitting in Dad's old armchair looking like he hadn't slept in days. He was surrounded by dozens of newspapers, and I was nothing short of terrified that he had finally snapped. (I didn't show it, of course)

"Nothing, Darry. It's just that you look so…so…"

"Weak!" His whole body tensed, as if he was trying to control a massive amount of anger. "To _you_, it's weak. But think! You do not understand who I am or why I'm the way I am. You cannot!"

I blinked. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you talking so weird?"

Darry sighed and flicked on the light switch right next to his chair. The room went bright and the dark mood immediately left the room. "Okay, here's the deal. I need a beautiful and charming girl-meaning you, preferably- to be with me." Darry's voice became faster and slightly panicked when he saw my face. "No, no! Don't think of it like that. I know I don't have Two-Bit's sense of humor or Johnnycake's quiet charm, but I'm a pretty good guy, I reckon. I have muscles, and I'll love and protect you like I do my brothers."

I sighed, sat on the arm of the chair, and started smoothing out my ex-brother's hair. He just didn't get it. Obviously, he wasn't smart as little ol' me. "Darry, listen to me…"

"What do Dally and Sodapop have that I ain't? Tell me that, Honeypie." Darry was obviously upset. "Why can't I get those good-lookin' girls to fall in love with me like they do Ponyboy and all them?"

I sighed and started to say something, but Darry interrupted me again. "I'm strong! I'm protective! I'm…"

"An asexual hardass?" I offered. It was risky to talk to Darry like that- he could beat my head in if I wanted- but I wasn't scared to get sassy like some girls.

Darry blinked in disbelief. "A _what_?"

"Oh, please! Don't tell me you don't see it, Darry!" I said. "You sit in that stupid chair all day long, read the newspaper, start hollerin' about the tiniest things, and randomly spank Pony and Soda- which, I'm not gonna lie, freaks me out a little. And besides, when you're not here, you're working too hard to notice anything that goes on at home or how Ponyboy or whoever is feeling!"

Darry looked hurt, but remained tight lipped. "Don't you get it, Darry!" I continued. "It's not that you don't have a girl because the rest of the gang or what you have or what you _don't_ do- it's what you _do_ do. Do you understand me, Darry?"

Darry didn't move a muscle. I rolled my eyes and started to leave when I heard Darry call, "Honeypie, wait!" I turned around and could've fainted from the shock.

Darry Curtis was _walking_.

Not that I had never seen him walk before- when he worked or was threatening to beat Ponyboy or something- but he was obviously struggling to get out of the chair. He was practically standing, too, before he collapsed in the armchair. He looked so pathetic and sad that I just had to encourage him. Because that's just the kind of person I am.

"Come on, Darry! Come here, boy!" I called cheerfully, snapping my fingers as if trying to call a dog. It took a minute or two, but Darry eventually started walking towards me. He went slowly but surely, one foot in front of the other. Once he reached me, I threw my arms around him.

"Darry, oh my God, you did it!" I said as I was hugging him tightly."You have a life!"

"I do…?" Darry asked, his voice full of wonder, almost dreamlike. I nodded, and Darry's face completely lit up. He picked me up and spun me around the room screaming, "I have a life, Honeypie! I have a life! I'll have a girl in no time!"

I laughed. "Put me down!" He did, and as we stared into each others' eyes, I noticed we were holding each others' hands. Although I didn't think Darry noticed, I didn't move them. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was starting to like Darry Curtis. What I thought was impossible at one time was actually becoming reality.

"So…" Darry said. "Let's have sex!"

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. "What!"

"Yeah, let's do it right now, right here! Why not!" Darry yelled excitedly. "On the floor, or on the couch…Hell, why don't we just do it in the road!"

"Um…But…I…" I stared at Darry, bewildered. He had just gone from asexual hardass to part animal in 30 seconds, and for once in my life, I was speechless.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Darry yelled, and ran into Soda's room. I heard a drawer open and shut, and reemerged with at least a dozen condoms clenched in his hands. "You know me, I'm always prepared. Thank God Soda has so many of these things… So, what sex position do you like best, Honeypie? I really don't know any, 'cause the only person I've ever done it with was myself…Hey, I got a better idea! How 'bout we role play or whatever you call it? Two-Bit told me once that I should try the Naughty Schoolgirl and her Headmaster…"

That did it- I had heard enough. _Way_ too much information. "Darry, isn't there a party going on at Buck's right now?"

Darry gasped dramatically. "OMGWTF! Honeypie, you're so right! I'm going to be late!" Suddenly, Darry grabbed my face and kissed me with more passion than I had ever experienced in my life-and boys had kissed me passionately all the time. "You're still my first choice for a steady girlfriend, Honeypie- think about it." I was still in a bit of shock and only stood and watched as Darry ripped off his shirt and ran out of the door, screaming, "Hey ladies- I'm available! Drinks on me!"

Right as Darry raced out of the house, Steve stepped inside. He watched Darry go and said, "Great- you haven't even been in town a week, and you broke Darry. Isn't there anything you weird-colored eyed girls _can't_ do?"

"Oh, shut it, Steve." I grumbled.

"Wait a minute, is your hair red? I didn't know Darry dug gingers!" Steve said smugly. I grabbed Mom's vase and chucked it at Steve in a blind rage. It smashed against the wall, missing Steve's head by mere inches.

Steve's eyes were wide with fear, but the rest of his face was filled with rage. "You crazy bitch…" He stomped out of the house, and I sighed heavily. I had no idea making all of the Curtis gang boys fall in love with me would make me lose my sanity as well.


End file.
